don't laugh

I developed a small crush on Mr. Rogers after this video.
His painfully slow, stopping voice keeps me from full-on loving him.
But aren't his eyes mesmerising?
Plus, his cardigans and retro tennis shoes make me swoon.


I adore his courage here.
I wish his program was still popular... I think it's what our world needs.

Thank you to my Intro to Non-Profits instructor, Anna Peterson, for reintroducing me to this man!

today, the sun poked it's friendly little head through the clouds. and, although it was still cold, i could feel it's golden fingers tickling my face, telling me that spring will soon be here.

this reassures me. i hope that all of this will melt away with the snow.

{vi.sualize.us}

Remember my studly best friend, Jose-Juan? Well, I've just discovered that my little boy has been removed from the orphanage. Whether he has been reclaimed by his family, relocated to another orphanage, given to distant relatives, or adopted, I do not know. What I hope and pray, however, is that where ever he ends, he is given the love and devotion that I feel for him. I love you little man... I'll remember you in my heart forever.

PS Only a week and a half until my next trip!
I'm still about $150 short of my fund raising efforts, so please, please donate!
Even just $5 is great.
Email me for more information:

michalkash {at} gmail {dot} com

I fell in love with a boy in an art exhibit.

There he stood, amidst the clamor and chaos of everyone else, observing. Taking it in. Just... being.

I would have stood near him. I would have made a comment about how we, as humans, have a tendancy to forget that those around us are living real lives; about how we too often consume ourselves with ourselves; about how this piece truly exemplifies our need for attention, space, to have someone know us.

I would have accompanied him to lunch. We would have found ourselves in diner often over looked, but well known for their pita bread and soy shakes. We would have discussed music and argued over whether is was the beatles or led zepplin that revolutionized the music industry.

I would have waited for three days for him to call. We would have gone on a nearly disastrous date to an outdoor concert in the city. We would have laughed and awkwardly held hands once. He would have waited two months before kissing me.

I would have married him. We would have lived in a tiny house for years. I would have been happy.

I would have started something beautiful.

But the boy I fell in love with, whom I am certain would have filled my wandering void, was in an art exhibit. And I would look silly talking to a piece of art.



Please, go see this. It changes my life everytime.

{photo}

Lately, I've been wishing I had freckles. They're like sweet little kisses from the sun's rays. Aren't these ladies so lovely? They seem to be the personified version of spring.

{vi.sualize.us}

i fear death.

i don't fear my own death. i don't think that i will actually experience my own death. it will happen, and i will be gone, and i will not have capability to think of it or replay it in my mind.

i fear the death of those i love.

when another passes on, i do experience it. i think about it, day after day, reliving the moment i knew, over and over.

the pain of death is rarely actually experienced by the deceased. while some deaths are tragic, and prolonged, the death of the dead is generally far more painful for the living. while it isn't as physically painful as many deaths are, the emotional pain can be overwhelming.

it's a blow to the stomach. it's a silent sting. it's a numbing incision that makes it's way from the ears, through the mind, and down each limb, all points eventually meeting at the heart.

this is what i fear. i fear that those most dear to me will go before me, and i will be left with the slow-acting poison of emotional loss, which infiltrates itself through the body, permeating every ventricle. The cleansing of this poison is a slow process, one that takes time and care and concentration.

i don't think i'm ready. i don't think i'll ever be.

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